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Posts tagged horror

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My mother and her very religious friends.

When I was about 8, I was forced to watch a recording of an abortion process. The video itself was about the before and after effects of premarital sex and how bad it is and “you should just wait until you’re married to sleep together”.. ALL the premarital’s ended in abortion ( about 30 minutes of watching abortions. Delightful.)  
  After the abortion segment the video continued onto gay and lesbian couples. Which unsurprisingly starts out with two very handsome men holding hands, proposing, and kissing. At this point in the video, I recall one of my moms friends jumping up, gasping “ACK! oh, no, you shouldn’t see that, its just not right,you’ll be scarred” turning to me after the tv was shut off,” God doesn’t love gays. Gays are created directly from Satan.”

I didn’t understand why a god would hate homosexuals,(why would a god create everything and yet dislike his creations when they loved one another?) and henceforth, from that point on, I chose to create a life without a “god”. How’s it working out for me? FABULOUS. I feel no guilt for being attracted to girls as well as boys, I don’t have nightmares every night of the “End of the World”,  demons and being tortured. I don’t live in the past, because if I do, I will become the monster my mother and her religious friends tried to create.

You will never know the horrors I went through as a child. And that is okay, because I want you to know me as me.

I not saying my whole childhood was riddled by religion, just from age 4 and on. I DO have some memories before of good days…but those are very blurry.

Filed under random life past religion religious people scare me horror sad childhood

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Anyone else notice Mushu the dragon is Mulan’s tattoo…?

This is the coolest shit I have ever seen.

Let’s not forget this one






*slowly stops crying and looks at him* You are absolutely ridiculous. *giggle*

Im wonderful!

Yes, I suppose you can be both.

O_O It’s so awesome.

…this is the first time I’ve seen disney princess stuff that I’d actually want as prints. Also, part of me is glad Tiana’s not in this bunch bc there’s only so much potential to be wrong-headed about things from my cultural background I can take in a day. But if this artist actually got it? Tiana, queen of the zombies would be amazing.

anyone else notice how mulan is the avatar

Oh god.

except that tiana is indeed in this series and she’s the best fucking one period

actually shit they left out kida, tiana, pocahontas, rapunzel and maid marian

Holy shitballs!

Disney seen through a darker lens. I love it. I can’t choose a favourite. 

(via drunkhippie)

Filed under wicked disney mermaid cinderella bad ass horror epic love it fantasy story

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This is Me…

This was me waking up this morning…

Opening my eyes, “I’m fine” I say.
As my feet hit the floor an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness consumed me. I gasped for air and try to hang on to my bed before falling to the floor. Shuddering I cry out screaming for someone. Anyone. 
Sobbing I push myself up and stagger to the bathroom. Stripping my clothes off like they were a disease. Horrified at my endless sobs and self foreboding doom I crank the water on thinking it would make it stop. In vain. I collapse once more to my knees everything going pitch black.

Coming to my senses I turn off the water and climb out of the shower. My chest racking with more wails and sobs. Making it to my room I lay in bed….pull the covers over my head…and scream all my hate, fear, and emptiness into my pillow.

I had another episode ( I don’t know what to call it? Panic attack?) as I got home from work. Changing from work uniform to PJ’s it came back. I told myself NO! but it wouldn’t stop. I ran around turning on all the lights like a psycho, sobbing and afraid.  

I just need a friend. I need someone to hold my hand…I need help. I’m scared. Terrified. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I’m sick. I am.

Someone please? 

Filed under death empty help please horror sick crying sobs friend psycho eyes me chest life